Midterm Elections Inspire Historic Levels of Early Drinking

Photograph by Ashley Gilbertson / VII / Redux

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a seismic shift from earlier midterm elections, the 2018 midterms have inspired the highest levels of early drinking in modern history, a new study shows.

According to the study, which was conducted by the University of Minnesota, millions of Americans who would normally start drinking on the…

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