Monday, April 22, 2019
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Jacob Rees-Mogg deported to the US after discovery he was born in West Philadelphia

Jacob Rees-Mogg has been deported back to the USA after immigration officials discovered he was actually born and raised in West Philadelphia. Investigators are claiming that Jacob Rees-Mogg was actually born ‘Jay Reezy’ on the mean streets on West Philly. After getting in one particularly scary fight when a hoodlum gave him an aeroplane spin, Reezy was sent to live with his more affluent auntie and uncle in Britain. It was at this time that Jay Reezy developed his Jacob Rees-Mogg persona and created a fictional background for himself. While the original move from the US to the UK was done legally, Rees-Mogg failed to obtain a permanent visa for himself which has resulted in his deportation. Rees-Mogg will return to his old stomping grounds in West Philadelphia and will spend his time chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and shooting some b-ball outside of the school while he contemplates his next move. It’s thought that some within the Conservative Party knew of Rees-Mogg’s illegal status as several members repeatedly referred to him as the ‘Fresh Prince of Bellend’.