Tag: Tree

An entirely new genus of trees has been discovered in Britain by Prime Minister Theresa May that appears to grow missiles perfect for delivering airstrikes on Middle Eastern countries. The tree is being dubbed the ‘magic missile tree’ and will come as a huge relief to Britain as similar missiles would have previously costs over half-a-million pounds each to drop on unsuspecting brown people. ‘While the Conservative Party insists on very careful budgeting of anything that’d make Britain a better place to live, it can now make other countries a much worse place to live for free,’ said Hornugus Scrungle, a professor of economics. Britain has already tasked horticultural experts with growing further magic missile trees to provide it with even more military might. However, one was immediately fired when he suggested the tree might be genetically modified to grow actual money. ‘The idea of a magic money tree is laughable,’ said a stony faced Theresa May.