Tag: Muses

Theresa May wishes Britain had some sort of force she could better fund to help tackle rising knife crime, it’s emerged. The prime minister was in a wistful mood when she was asked about the rising knife crime figures throughout the country. ‘It’s a shame, it really is. We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas. If only we had some sort of force we could better fund to help tackle this problem,’ she told the press. With police flanking the press conference, May said that while the knife crime statistics were troubling she’d never seen any actual evidence of a rise in stabbings. ‘If anyone has ever tried to stab me, it must have been in the back because I’ve certainly never been witness to it,’ she said. The prime minister was then escorted out of the press conference by several members of the police before all the journalists inside were put down.