Tag: Lie

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Reacting to the journalist April Ryan’s call for her to be fired, the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said, on Friday, that she has been the victim of the media’s “widespread anti-liar bias.” “From their obsession with fact-checking to their relentless attacks on falsehoods, the media have made no secret of their bias,” Sanders said. “It’s open season on liars in America.” “This is media hypocrisy at its very worst,” she added. “The same journalists who advocate freedom of speech want to take that freedom away from anyone whose speech consists entirely of lies.” “This is nothing more or less than a direct attack on the lying life style,” she said. “You take away my right to lie and you take away my ability to earn a living.” Kellyanne Conway, the White House senior counsellor, spoke out in support of Sanders, telling reporters, “An attack on one liar is an attack on all liars.” “Our country has seen some dark days, from the Bowling Green Massacre to the bugging of the White House microwave,” she said. “But this might be the darkest.”

Boca Raton’s Democratic U.S. Rep. Ted Deutch said on a national broadcast Friday morning that if reports are true that President Donald Trump told his then-lawyer Michael Cohen to lie about Russia then that would constitute a violation of Trump’s oath of office. Deutch, who chairs the U.S. House Ethics Committee, stopped short of saying he would consider that an impeachable offense despite several direct questions to that point on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” show Friday morning. “If this is true this is more evidence that the president has violated his oath of office,” Deutch said of the report that Trump told Cohen to lie. Deutch would not give a “yes” or “no” answer. “If this report is true, if the President of the United States violated the law, if he told Cohen to commit perjury, then that’s going to go into the whole discussion we have about whether the President should continue in office,” Deutch responded. Asked again, Deutch added, “You’ve got to realize that alone is not all that we’ve got. This is damning. And it’s terrible. That’s before you even get to the Mueller report and Russia and all the huge news that’s broken on Russia,” Deutch said. Deutch spent about a half hour on the show.

BEDMINSTER, New Jersey (The Borowitz Report)—Blasting his former colleague Omarosa Manigault, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that “the White House is no place for a lying lowlife from a reality show.” “People were impressed by Omarosa because they saw her on a TV show,” Trump told reporters from his golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey. “Well, I’ve got news for you: being on a reality show does not qualify you to work in the government.” Explaining why he considered her a “lowlife,” Trump said, “She’s rude, abrasive, and offensive. Having someone like that in the White House is an embarrassment to our country.” But worst of all, Trump said, was Omarosa’s lying, which he called “constant.” “She can’t go a day without lying, and what’s more, she’s narcissistic and paranoid,” he said. “A psycho like that shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the Situation Room.” Pronouncing himself pleased that Omarosa was no longer in his Administration, Trump concluded his scorching remarks by saying, “The sooner we can rid the White House of reality-show con artists, the better off the country will be.”

Exports of Chinese high-tech manufactured goods are top of Ross’s list. In America’s case, it is certainly the latter. Protectionist tendencies never really went away. If the struggle between the US and China merely leads to a trade war, the world can consider itself lucky. A second phase, in which investment in higher education allows the economy to compete in sectors hitherto the preserve of the developed west, is well under way. China is not remotely interested in an international division of labour where the west does the clever stuff and it is left with the cheap end of the market. “Trade is more than an economic concept; and trade wars are not just protectionism,” the two Hardings say. Even before the arrival of Trump, trade barriers were quietly going up, with 7,000 protectionist measures introduced since the financial crisis. But the prime reason why the US is running such a sizeable trade trade deficit is that the opening of the global economy has allowed US corporations to outsource production to where it is cheaper, which is why the rust belt has been hollowed out. The fear that Beijing could pull the plug on the US economy at any time by dumping its US holdings made previous administrations nervous.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—One day after Donald J. Trump offered to testify under oath for the special counsel, Robert Mueller, a newly discovered video of Trump lying under oath has sent shock waves through Washington. In the video, which experts believe was recorded approximately one year ago, Trump places his left hand on a Bible and raises his right hand before uttering a stream of falsehoods. “The video shows him lying in front of what appears to be a substantial number of witnesses, including his wife and a Supreme Court Justice,” Davis Logsdon, a professor at the University of Minnesota Law School, said. “It does raise questions about what, exactly, testifying under oath means to him.” At the office of the special counsel, Mueller’s team was reportedly considering having Trump swear on something that was more meaningful to him than the Bible, such as a rolled-up copy of Forbes. But, while Washington mulled the implications of the explosive video, the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, questioned the authenticity of the video itself. “The person in this video is not the President of the United States,” she said.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “the least I can do for my country,” the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said on Saturday morning that she would lie for free during the government shutdown. “Now more than ever it’s important that the stream of falsehoods and distortions from this White House continues to flow in a steady and uninterrupted fashion,” Sanders said. “To achieve that, for the duration of the government shutdown I will be lying on a pro-bono basis.” Sanders said that Donald Trump had asked that she keep a full accounting of the lies she told during the shutdown so that she could be reimbursed for them later, but she turned down that offer. “I’ve often said that I like to lie so much I would do it for free,” she said. “This is a chance to put my money where my mouth is.” The press secretary said that her offer had already inspired other top Administration figures to lie for free during the shutdown, including Vice-President Mike Pence, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and White House doctor Ronny Jackson. After making her announcement, Sanders moved on to a broad range of other topics, including her assertion that the government had not shut down.