Tag: girlfriend

An old pervert going through one of the worst periods of his life has confessed that he doesn’t even know where his next underage girlfriend is coming from. Despite several women coming forward and claiming that Roy Moore sexually pursued and/or touched them while they were underage, Moore still holds a slender lead in the race to become the next Senator for Alabama. However, the lead is so narrow that pollsters can no longer confidently predict a victory for the Republican in a state that hasn’t elected a Democrat to senate since 1990. Moore is said to be in such a low mood that he’s not sure that he’ll ever be able to land an underage girlfriend again. ‘I’m being harassed in the most awful way imaginable. No-one can violate you quite like the liberal media,’ complained Moore to a group of supporters. Thankfully, for Moore, some of his supporters are offering him their underage daughters as tribute. ‘It’s not the same though,’ he complained. ‘You lose the thrill of the chase.’