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Britain will install a border gate after Brexit to protect the nation’s borders. It’s hoped the gate will either deter illegal immigration or stop people leaving the country on mass, depending on just how badly Brexit goes. The proposed border gate will consist of exactly one gate without any surrounding fence or wall to cut down costs. ‘Frankly, we’re taking a big loss of Brexit. A single gate is all we can muster from our budget,’ said one government chief. ‘If you don’t want to get tutted at, don’t sneak in. Or out,’ said the project head. Chris Grayling has already awarded the £20 million contract to build the gate to a nice chap he used to go to school with. ‘He already owns a hammer. I’ve done my research on this one,’ promised Grayling.