Tuesday, March 26, 2019
Home White House News

White House News

My rocket is bigger than yours, Trump tells Kim Jong-un

My rocket is bigger than yours, Trump tells Kim Jong-un. President Donald Trump has told Kim Jong-un in no uncertain terms that he has the biggest rocket in the world and he’s prepared to blast it right in the North Korean leader’s face. With the nuclear threat from North Korea esculating almost daily, Trump took time out of his busy holiday schedule to set Kim Jong-un straight. ‘You think I want to be here when I could be on the golf course? This is what North Korea has made me do and I’m angry about it, so angry,’ began Trump. ‘There’s a lot of fake news on the internet about how I have a small rocket. Completely fake, so fake. Actually I have the biggest rocket in the world, much bigger than Kim Jong-un’s, and he’ll feel the full force of my rocket blast if he doesn’t back down.’ It is being called President Trump’s most phallic and borderline erotic speech to date. ‘Daddy can drop his fire and fury all over me any time he wants,’ said Conservative ring-piece Milo Yiannopoulos. Meanwhile the citizens of the world watch on as Earth begins to reach the climax of its final season with baited breath.

Donald Trump’s handwriting ‘coming along nicely’, teacher says

Donald Trump’s handwriting ‘coming along nicely’, teacher says. Donald Trump’s penmanship is improving by leaps and bounds since becoming president according to his private tutor. As president, Trump is often required to write handwritten notes to staff as well as dignitaries and world leaders. This was considered something of a problem as Trump hadn’t written a single word since leaving high school at the age of 32. But after dedicating himself to private tuition, the president’s handwriting is ‘coming along nicely’, or so says his private tutor. ‘He can be a bit of a handful in class because he’s so easily distracted. But when he’s focused he’s as capable as anyone I’ve ever taught,’ said Ms Hancock, who typically teaches junior school students who require extra help. Ms Hancock told us that the secret seems to be focusing him on Ivanka Trump. ‘He writes a lot of deeply passionate notes to Ivanka about how much he loves her. Ivanka, I’m assuming is his wife,’ she said.
5/14/18: White House Press Briefing

5/14/18: White House Press Briefing

The White House

Four U.S. Companies Have Been Contracted to Build Prototype Border Walls

Four U.S. Companies Have Been Contracted to Build Prototype Border Walls. Caddell Construction, Fisher Industries, Texas Sterling Construction, and W.G. Yates & Sons Construction, have each been charged with building a concrete wall that's 30-feet long and up to 30-feet high, NBC News reports. The DHS is also expected to commission four non-concrete wall prototypes. On completion, the government will evaluate the designs to determine which is the most suitable to implement on a massive scale along the U.S.-Mexico border. The four contacts are each worth between $400,000 and $500,000. Read more: This Graphic Shows Why President Trump’s Border Wall Won’t Stop Immigrants From Crossing "This is the first new initiative that adds to our bigger plans," Ronald Vitiello, acting deputy commissioner of the U.S. Customs and Border Protection told NBC News. “Testing will look at things like the aesthetics of it, how penetrable they are, how resistant they are to tampering and then scaling or anti-climbing,” he added. According to Vitiello, construction will begin in the coming weeks with the review process expected to take between one and two months. [NBC News]
Skip to toolbar