Trump Furious that F.B.I. Not Stopped By Shutdown

Photograph by Drew Angerer / Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A furious Donald Trump told reporters on Friday morning that it was “a total disgrace” that the Federal Bureau of Investigation had apparently not been affected by the government shutdown.

Trump, who appeared agitated and was gripping his television remote as he spoke on the White House lawn, said that he had been under…

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