Dems Agree to Fund Wall and Reopen Government If Trump Leaves Country Forever

Photograph by Marianique Santos / Planet Pix / ZUMA

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold initiative aimed at ending the shutdown, congressional Democrats on Thursday agreed to fund a border wall and reopen the government if Donald Trump leaves the country forever.

Calling the deal “a huge win for America,” the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, said that Trump would get the wall he wanted plus the opportunity to…

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