Kavanaugh Disappointed to Discover Supreme Court Has No Happy Hour

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day at work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that he was “very disappointed” to learn that the Supreme Court does not have a happy hour.

Kavanaugh told reporters that he made the horrifying discovery as the clock ticked down to 5 P.M. and “everyone was still in their offices working and stuff.”

“I mean, I couldn’t believe it,” Kavanaugh said….

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