‘Thou shall not kill unless it might provide a boost in the polls and help with a trade agreement,’ says vicar’s daughter

Prime Minister Theresa May is pushing to declare war on Syria after announcing her favourite Bible passage is ‘Thou shall not kill unless it might provide a boost in the polls and help secure a trade agreement’ early this morning.

The vicar’s daughter claims to have access to a special edition of ‘The Bible’ which offers her guidance in times…

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