76.6% of Russian population receives the antidote after electing Putin

President Vladimir Putin has graciously dispatched the antidote to all 76.6% of the nation’s population that voted for him in yesterday’s Russian election.

Before they were allowed to vote, each Russian citizen was sat down and asked to drink a cup of ‘Uncle Vlad’s Polonium Tea’. They were then informed they had been poisoned and would only be given the antidote…

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