Vladimir Putin Concedes Defeat in Pennsylvania Special Election

MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the result “close but no cigar,” Vladimir Putin has conceded defeat in Tuesday night’s special congressional election in Pennsylvania.

Speaking to reporters at the Kremlin, Putin thanked the many Russian campaign workers who tried but failed to propel the Republican candidate, Rick Saccone, into the winner’s circle.

“Our social-media trolls did some of their finest work to put…

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