Trump Fears Next Election Will Be Decided by Americans

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump is “scared to death” that the 2020 Presidential election will be decided by Americans, an aide to Trump has confirmed.

The aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that Trump is panicking over a doomsday scenario in which Americans, sidelined during the 2016 election, play a dominant role in influencing the 2020 contest.

“It sounds paranoid, but, as we speak, representatives of the United States are already plotting to remove…

Leave a Reply