Theresa May overjoyed as cold weather allows her CPU to run at peak efficiency

The freezing cold temperatures are said to be helping Theresa May’s CPU run at peak efficiency, with Conservative Party members noting her newfound drive and focus.

A dip in temperature has coincided with Theresa May closing the first round of negotiations with the EU over Brexit, her first accomplishment in almost 18 months as PM.

May’s robotic components are powered…

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