Trump’s Slurred Speech Tied to Low Battery in Putin’s Remote

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J.Trump slurred his speech during his announcement about Jerusalem on Wednesday because of “low-battery issues” with Vladimir Putin’s remote, the White House said on Friday.

Speaking to the White House press corps, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that Trump’s slurred speech was “a case of what happens when President Putin doesn’t change…

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