Trump’s Lawyer Claims to Be Voice on “Access Hollywood” Tape

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping to put to rest a mystery that has long bedeviled the nation, Donald J. Trump’s personal lawyer, John Dowd, revealed on Monday that it is actually his voice that appears on the notorious “Access Hollywood” tape.

Speaking to reporters, Dowd said that the so-called locker-room talk attributed to Trump had actually been carefully crafted by…

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