Trump Knocked Out in First Round of White House I.Q. Test

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an I.Q.-test tournament devised by Donald Trump to determine the smartest person in his Administration, Trump suffered a humiliating defeat on Tuesday, getting knocked out in the first round by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos.

Trump had personally created the brackets for the tournament, which he had hoped would lead to an I.Q.-championship showdown between him and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

“He was…

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