People Who Feared Obama Would Take Their Guns Happy to Have Trump Take Their Health Care

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans who feared that Barack Obama would come for their guns are happy that Donald Trump is coming for their health care, a new report finds.

In interviews conducted across the country, people expressed satisfaction that, by taking away their ability to see a doctor rather than their ability to shoot people, the federal government “finally has its priorities straight.”

“I couldn’t get…

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